I’m finding that the road to recovery-GI issues, PTSD, returning to law school, among many other feats that I feel like have left me reeling and setback so far from here I was even a few years ago-can be accomplished through documenting and acknowledging small goals.
A year ago my vomiting was bad, I didn’t go an hour without thinking about it. Now it’s only really present if I over do it with food (aka eat like a normal person and not a bird), eat something super heavy/greasy/dairy/etc., or later in the day. Breakfast now usually sits well, unless I rush it and chug the milk. Lunch and dinner are toss ups, literally, throw up joke intended.
Since adopting my newest four-legged friend, I’m finding that just like it takes him a few tries to get acquainted to using a harness/leash, or jumping in and out of the car, I too have to be patient with learning to readjust to life given everything that’s happened.
I think I can take my symptoms more in stride than I did a year ago. Probably one of the greatest things I’ve learned these last few months is to take time to renew. Whether it’s a nap, meditating, going for a walk/run, buying a book I’ve been curious to read-whatever makes you happy.
What got me really down and depressed when I was at my sickest-throwing up every hour, diarrhea every hour, and thinking about dropping out of law school- was also when I gave myself the least opportunities to be happy. I didn’t make room for things I enjoyed and I stressed about everything that was maybe going to happen in the future.
Today, well now yesterday given it’s past midnight, marked the last day of my very first MBA class. In all honesty, I think this accounting class was more difficult than any law school or other graduate class I’ve taken. However, now that it’s all done, I can say with confidence that my hours of dedication to it paid off in an “A.” While I know this may not be the case with law school given the curve and how you don’t really get what you work for if others work just as hard…but I know if I go back with the mindset “give it everything and I lose nothing,” that I’ll come out far superior than I did in my two prior semesters of law school.
It’s crazy to think that a simple “mindset” could make or break it…but I’m going to try this with my law ethics exam in a few weeks, and then with my second MBA class starting next week. I know there are a million cliche phrases about hard work and determination getting people through tough times, but beyond that, I think self-reflection on one’s resilience is far more important. If I can sit here and say I’ve lived another day, got sick, got stuff done, and am excited about what tomorrow holds, then I’m on the right path.
If I ever find myself doubting my direction and worth, I know it’s time to take a step back, reevaluate my renewal, and start setting more small goals to get myself back on track.
So in line with keeping on track, I’m off to sleep.