It’s so strange to back back in the grooves of law school. On one hand I love it-I love the literal application of law and being able to call clients and tease out issues and solve problems. I love being busy and running around an office with a purpose.
What I don’t love is the bullshit-like the accommodations department at my law school. I have my first exam coming up for my night class, and instead of welcoming me back and making sure things run smoothly, the head of my accommodations was on vacation until two days before my exam…and sure enough, issues have come up.
I explain the need for my own room to avoid extra stressors that might worsen my condition. I also explain needing to have breaks given what has become a daily splashing (and resplashing of diarrhea). My boyfriends thinks that I have this things called EPI, which is basically all the symptoms I have (at least my lower half)…and the treatment is enzyme replacement therapy. It’s so awkward that the advertisement he saw was all about getting the shits, and that reminded him of me.
Anywhoo, here I am trying to juggle working full-time and taking classes that don’t let me get home until almost 10pm every night. Needless to say it’s a daily struggle to stay positive and to manage the pain that’s inextricably intertwined in my symptoms. If I’m not stressing about diarrhea coming at inconvenient times and staying well past any reasonable period of time, I’m worried about not being able to work out very much (because it triggers symptoms), or eat certain (well, most) foods (because nearly everything seems to trigger something).
The worst is having an onset of symptoms, taking a million Immodium or something to cope, and then being stopped up for days…until Montezuma takes his revenge yet again.
So I guess I’m at a crux and wondering if the annoying and seemingly constant stresses of school are worth what I think will be a great payout when I graduate in what I hope will be just two more years and can actually practice.
Sometimes I wonder if this year off has caused residual stress and PTSD exclusively related to law school. Can PTSD double in severity?
Endlessly confused and constantly erring on the edge of empty,
kissed.with.a.quip.
